Synopsis:

With over 900 changes this is the ultimate fix. Two F Bombs remain.

Intentions:

These two movies turn Star Trek Picard into two classic style Trek Movies with a 3 act structure and many hundered of changes, scoring tweaks, and much much more.

Change List:

Many scenes were completely rebuilt, entire plot threads removed, dramatic pacing reordered, no silly magic device and 2 Movies 2h 30ish min each 2.5 hours removed (YUP!) 900+ changes Subtle score enhancements Characters Improved (all of them) Dead ends removed New sequences New opening New ending NO MAGIC "fix anything" DEVICE Believable villains (no cartoon like) No Silly French Accent F bombs (2 left) New establishing shots In the style of Classic Movies Data fixed re-sequencing 3 act structure to both films Needless exposition removed and much, much more. Cuts and Additions: SCENES removed first, THEN the changes which are SPOILER HEAVEY. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED> REMOVED DELETED MATERIAL (partial) the other 900 trims will be in the cut list (yes there is one) Soji Boston (use shots New Intercut 1) Dash Mother Picard Hkeep reconstruct (intercut A) Picard at Starfleet Lobby Soji Cadet Narek Picard & Comm badge Picard calls Raffi on pad Rios and Holo chat Vashti Flashback 2 Soji watches Ronda Video Picard arrives at Romulan Settlement Narek Soji chat over a drink Picard Quat Milat 2 Narek Soji Socks in corridor Picard and Elnor 1 Picard walk and settlement fight Seven Domes Holo greetings from Freecloud Picard Raffi goodbye to see son and whole sub-plot Raffi and Son Picard Raffi in quarters Rios Jurati Chat-up Kiss Bridge Raffi sweetchat Federation Raffi Rios about Son Hugh tour for Picard Sirena held in Tractor beam Nariss Hugh Borg Sirena released from Tractor beam Picard Troi chat kestra Raffi Jurati chat about excitement Troi Soji Tomatoes Picard Troi chat teenagers Nariss Elnor fight 1 Narissa Ronda Raffi ENH Nav Holo Raffi and EEH Engineering Holo Raffi an EHH Hospitality Holo Rios reflects alone Raffi Hollo Conference Picard and Soji chat about sacrifice Narek's fireside chat Jurati operates the device (device does not exist in fact) Multiple Sirenas appear Shoji vists Picard choice chat WHAT IS THAT OH, Pattern 5 There are hundreds, engage them CHANGES SPOLIERS FOLLOW SPOLERS NEAR LAST WARNING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! STAR TREK PICARD Part 2 MEANS OF REDEMPTION Run Time 2 Hrs 33 min 44 sec 001 - FANEDIT LOGO 002 – FAREUZE 1A LOGO with added Space rumble 006 – Custom PREVIOUSLY in STAR TREK Echoes of Lament with isolated Trek motif taken from the opening of TNG when Roddenberry died (an “in memoriam” riff). It’s nice and somber. 038 – The montage is created from sections of recaps to episodes 10,5,6,7,8, ep 7 shots, 5,6 in that order with NO footage which does not appear in Echoes of Lament. The opening shot starts with audio from the episode it is taken from (which is clean without music) and cross faded to the recap version audio so that the music fades in and is not jarring. The recap of the fight with the Bird of prey is tightened up and Rios’ Line dismissing the EMH is removed, it was too close to the previous similar line and was only there for continuity visually. This has been resolved by adding a shot of Rios standing up from the episode. Extensive sound work and a bespoke scene taken from Means of Redemption (which REALLY rings true given how events unfold). Includes dialogue from TNG Ep, The Best of Both Worlds Parts 1&2. Keeping the music in time meant some considerable V.O. overlap on previous shot work etc. A shot of Soji turning over the VO “any synthetic life” was also added. There was a significant late reordering of the RECAP with additional shots of the the Borg cube added, Seven of Nine and Elnor’s back story. 039 – Fade to black and fade to starfield for a little longer than previous film 040 - Custom titles MEANS of REDEMPTION using an unused take of the theme from STTMP 041 - Continue with Ep 6 scene en-route to Borg cube. Rios’s opening statement is a great re-cap of where we are in the story. 042 - Jurati’s crap suggestion removed. Better she appears broody given what’s in her head. 043 - Extra shot of Picard taken from the deleted Raffi scene trying to get permission from Federation. The shot makes Picard look uncertain at Rios challenge so it was moved to close this scene. 044 - Bridge Raffi sweet-talk to the Federation is deleted 047 - Soji checks the age of her items with a small trim to remove repetition. An addition flipped and reversed Borg establishing shot is added since this is the first time we see the Cube in this movie. 050 - Sirena arrives at the Borg cube. A tiny trim to Elnor’s dialogue “I hate this place”. With a shot change to accommodate. 060 – Footage from FIRST CONTACT including the Borg queen is added to the flashback Picard has on the Sirena bridge. Why this material was not used is beyond me. 061 - Raffi Rios talk about Son is deleted 062 - Jump to Soji and Narek discussing the age of her items etc. this is playing out earlier 063 – Picard transporter sound enhanced with TNG effect since it’s just a bit too quiet. 064 – Picard arrival on cube has one fall removed; he’s old not falling apart. 070 - Footage from FIRST CONTACT including the Borg queen is added to the flashback Picard has on walking across the bridge and some audio is lifted into this too. The close up shot added with the eyeball has a soft focus transition entry and exit added to maintain a dreamlike effect. 079 - Jump cuts when he meets Hugh to later scene removing the overly emotional reunion which also has an ad break crescendo that does not edit well to any later scenes. The jump cut removes this issue and editorially is very Trek like. Cut to the point. 082 - Hugh tour for Picard is removed 084 - Out of sequence the next scene is Raffi and Rios discussing Soji 085 - All scenes with Raffi and Holos are removed. They are nice but are not plot necessary since the issue of the 8 suns is not relevant to the Admonition itself, the Romulan plot nor Jurati’s motivations and Soji’s fate. 15 minutes saved. Plus, how do the holos know all this? If it’s in the records, someone would already know PLUS the way the later briefing by Raffi has been re-edited, we don’t ever need to know the ancient stuff since the plot progresses fine without it and Narek will tell us the rest later (though the campfire scene is removed). 058 – Raffi’s line “what would the Tal Shiar need with a synth” cuts to Soji and Narek revealing the dream meditation; thus, we now know. TREK, Cuts to the point. The challenge by the guard at the door is removed. 064 - A number of lines are removed including “remove your shoes”. Some dialogue is delivered over different shots to enable the editing down and the McGurk effect on one word. 089 – The meditation is shortened to remove much cheesiness and cringe. 101 – Soji ripping the floor up has the previously only speaking in Romulan guard (dialogue was removed) now speaking in English (which is also removed). This plays more emotionally for Narek as a viewer and we beging to believe 103 – This plays onto the Picard Hugh in Soji’s room earlier and mid-way through the meditation but a slight trim 105 – Plays through per original up to Picard’s line to Elnor “I’m Proud of you”. This line is removed and saved for Picard’s “death” scene later 106 – The order from here is vastly different than the series. The next scene is Narek going to his ship after Picard and Soji jump to Nepenthe. 107 – All the remaining Borg cube scenes play out BEFOR we see Picard on Nepenthe. This maintains suspense and removes the painful extension of these scenes over two episodes when they were CLEARLY shot and written to play out as presented here; this needs to be a single sequence. View for yourself the result. I think the producers realized that the next two episodes (Nepenthe and Broken Pieces) were to melancholy, and so the action was distributed. 108 - Sirena held in Tractor beam is deleted. We never find out why and when the beam was deployed in the first place. 109 - Narissa Hugh Borg executing the XB’s is removed 110 - Sirena released from Tractor beam is also removed retaining one shot 114 – The next scene of Elnor and Hugh shoot out are from two differing scenes put together to create a new continuity 115 – The Hugh scenes with Narissa are removed in order to facilitate a cleaner fight and fate for all, plus saving 10 minutes 116 – The scene of Rios saying goodbye to Elnor is trimmed 123 – The next 3 scenes are re ordered and remove superfluous elements for the cleaner plot leading to Elnor being alone. Narissa’s dialogue is trimmed accordingly. 124 - Narissa Elnor fight 1 is largely removed with the opening shot retained and used earlier 128 – The fight then continues with some changes to make continuity work 131 - First scene of the Romulan tail is in a different place in order to create a pause on the cube. 139 – The next scene of Elnor alone on the cube and finding the Ranger beacon call pendant plays as one scene but incredibly was actually split across episodes 7 and 8. The proof that it was one scene? Elnor is still sitting in the same place in the same position a full hour later!!! Not anymore. 140 – Sevens arrival from ep 8 is next then cuts to the Raffi Jurati scene in ep 7 160 – The following 4 minutes contain 20 edits and 12 sounds rebuilds to create a unified conclusion to Seven and Leonor’s actions on the cube. Sevens activation is a complex overdub of audio from one part of the earlier scene interwoven with shots from two differing parts of the build-up to maintain the pace of the scene….PHEW! 162 – Narrisa’s beam out while being swamped by XBs is literally only 10 frames long and only 6 of those frames are obviously a beam out, but it could as easily have been a lens flare if you’re not paying attention. The Romulan transporter noise is so quiet that too also miss that. Thus, this scene is enhanced with a small additional glow FX added and Romulan transported audio from a CD. 163 – The later scene of the departing Romulan fleet is brought forward so that by the time NEPENTHE sequences begin, The Borg Romulan threat is clearly cast. Thus two things achieved resolution to those threads BUT now the scenes in Nepenthe are underscored by our knowledge that they are on their way from the start instead of being intercut with Nepenthe. At this point in a 150 min presentation, there needs to be a pause in what has been nonstop action from the near start. 173 – Nepenthe establishing shot now contains a planet caption (maintaining Trek nomenclature) 174 – The original Nepenthe caption is cropped out 176 – The walk to the Riker’s home has two dialogue trims for pacing and redundancy 177 – The only cutaways now from Nepenthe are to Rios and the Sirena uncovering the plot and Rios back story. This maintains the sedate tone for about 20 minutes in order to recover for the film’s opening climax. 178 – Big panning shot to Riker’s place removed 179 – Intro chat with Will trimmed to remove repetition of information received later anyway with better delivery. 180 – One ep 8 scene of Seven’s post assimilation is dropped in here as a reminder they are still ok. Also it acts as the narrative pause that was placed there in ep 7 but with action befor. 184 – Complete sound rebuild for Riker opening the pizza oven to remove music overlay 185 - Picard Troi chat about Kestra is removed. It’s nice if the Thad revelation is a tad contrived, and though it furthers Troi’s character, she’s not in Picard after this so a cameo it will be 188 – Two sections of dialogue removed with Riker and the tomatoes scene is also removed. 189 - Troi Soji Tomatoes removed 193 - I’ve layered in some short sections from the Orchestrated Picard theme when Picard speaks to Will, and Will is guessing what’s going on. So the flute, as he looks at the bottle of wine signals the life he is leaving behind, The Trek Motif (TOS) signals the return to Space….Later we hear the fanfare again as Riker comes to the rescue…Nice bookend. 195 – Cut to Rios and Jurati discussing Raffi. All references to Raffi’s excursion in Cloud city are removed. 196 - Picard Troi chat about teenagers is removed 202 – Dinner with Rikers into is trimmed for smooth transition purposes, TNG comms beep replaces Riker speaking over the scene as was, Picard recapping Dhaj’s death is removed; it feels like it has been placed in the wrong place. References to Ardani are removed to heighten Soji’s desire by removing the toning down effect of the sweetness. 204 – Picard’s lines about the tone of his voice etc., removed. There has not really been any scene which reveals that Soji can monitor people’s life signs etc. For some reason it also made me cringe a tad. 206 –Dinner discussion segues to walk in the woods with Riker with “motley crew” ref removed. The Idiom is v 19th/20th century (though naval…so close call) 208 - The McGurk effect is used to transition the dialogue when Picard makes reference to “baggage”. 212 – Beam out from Nepenthe transitions to Soji’s arrival on transporter pad and Rios. 5 trims and a TNG transporter segues to remove music cue 213 -Narissa Ronda scene is removed. 215 - Picard and Raffi with Soji has the “neurone” reference and Raffi pulling a phaser removed. 218 - Scene with Raffi and EMH Picard discussing Jurati has one Picard outburst removed (one remains) and some Raffi nonsense removed. 229 - Raffi ENH Nav Holo removed 229 - This now cuts to Picard Soji meal with 10 alterations 230 - Raffi and EEH Engineering Holo removed 232 - Rios reflects alone is removed, it’s a nice scene but we get the info when Raffi arrives 234 - This now cuts to Picard Jurati, with one trim and the Raffi Rios chat about his past trims the Walkman comment (it’s just crass and Raffi knows better). 235 -Also removed is Raffi naming Giana (she doesn’t know because she has not had the Holo meetings). 236 - Raffi an EHH Hospitality Holo removed 237 – Next scene is Picard Clancy with expletive removed. Was this woman a fucking lorry driver? You can’t be an Admiral and get that easily worked up. What’s she like in a crisis then? 239 - Raffi Hollo Conference scene removed. We know Raffi is great at getting info, we’ve seen her find Maddox etc. 251 – The big table discussion has some major trims and is also re-ordered to facilitate telling the crew what can be reasonably known (i.e. none of that Admonition planet 8 sun prophecy shit. Jurati has a neural block and can’t spill the beans anyhow so could Raffi know, the holos certainly didn’t quite and wouldn’t have known anyway. It was too big a narrative jump for the character and was in fact there to recap for viewers who had not paid attention or seen earlier eps. So now she just says, Talshiar, Picard brings nit h Shat Vash, Synths and Oh ploy. That’s all they can and do know. The admonition reveal comes on Capellia from Soji’s gold counterpart, thus we can also remove Narek’s reputation of the same round the campfire. 254 - The sequence getting to the Borg conduit is re-worked to be slightly less adversarial 257 – The scene that follows with Picard has a minor trim and a new establishing shot of the Sirena by re-using a later shot and removing the clockwise pan on the original shot. This scene could easily have been dropped for plot since it conveys nothing new BUT it’s an important character bonding moment between Picard and Rios and HAD to stay. This was true for a number of other character scenes that were retained for character above plot. 268 – There are 11 edit points on the arrival to Capellia, including, the reverse cloak projection is removed (since the later multiple projections of the Sirena is also removed coz it’s been done befor and that gadget thing is a crap idea. If you have an omnipotent tool, all peril is removed. So now it’s a straight fight, the crash is trimmed, and Picard no longer says “nice of you to come”…he just passes out. 272 – 3 trims to Picard awaking and briefing scene and a dialogue replacement for Raffi from “JL” to “Jen-Luc”. He may be dead for crying out loud. Show some respect 274 – 2 trims to Picard Seven Elnor’s chat 276 - Picard’s “I’m proud of you Elnor” is removed for later use. 277 - Picard says goodbye to Seven, a second time…The first, as she beamed away from the Sirena we heard a flash of the Voyager motif/theme. Here, I echo that moment with that nice “Picard style voyager theme” …just two musical phrase subtly counterpointing the score that is there already in order to lift the emotional stakes a tad. 279 – Arrival to synthville is trimmed, one trim while walking down the street, the synths playing chess and one other shot. The establishing shot of the pan across the crew followed by the long shot are swapped and the close ups sped up 175% to not drag AND to permit a shorter music cue now to crescendo in from the previous Voyager new cue added to the previous scene. 282 – The mind meld has 3 changes, Rios no longer says “no way”. I want his developing relationship with Jurati to be slower…recalled, they have no slept with each other yet, that scene was removed earlier. The Admonition is trimmed and Starfleet symbols removed as is some dialogue. 284 – Picard and Soji discussions is trimmed and spit up. Only the first part plays out 289 – Jurati and Soong chat is slightly shorter and does not include the word “Golem”. Extensive sound work and shot repurposing 296 – Picard trying to contact Starfleet is combined with a later scene where he tries contacts a second time and overlays with Soji’s arrival from the second scene which is then further trimmed and split for dramatic effect. There are a few tiny trims at the beginning including Picard’s “I can tell remark” about Maddox and Jurati. 3055 – The transition to the Starfleet call has two music enhancements, The Theme from Star Trek, the somber version used in the Opening of STTNG when Roddenberry died and “Two Captains” by Dennis McCarthy from Star Trek Generations. The second piece has a sustained single note violin which is EXACTLY the same as the note from the preceding scene and the same single not being played when Soji starts to speak. Further, the horn used for the Star Trek theme matches the horn from “Two Captains” making it sound like a single composition scored for this scene WHICH DESPERATELY needed some Trek lift now that we are near the end and Picard has found his MoJo. 315 – Jurati Rios now follows 318 – Picard Raffi I love you follows with a trim 319 -Picard and Soji chat about sacrifices split and repurposed 321 – Narek’s arrival cuts to being in the cell but the intro is trimmed and the scene plays through to Gold synth coming to see him Soji no longer visits and her lines regarding her “feelings” are echoed elsewhere 322 – Narek running off now crossfades to his arrival at cube. 325 – Seven and Elnor’s chat is overplayed with Narek skulking about 321 – Narek and Narissa reunion is trimmed, the beachfront comments are removed, which are too human like and just not credible for character or species…do Romulans even go on vacation? 324 – Synth speech leading to Picard being taken away has 3 trims and some restructuring visually when Picard is taken away. The whole “mother stuff” is removed 325 – Narek’s flower comments are removed 345 – Rios and Raffi’s engine repairs DO NOT USE THE TOOL. In fact, No one was ever given the tool. It’s just not needed, it’s silly, and removes peril from later scenes and potentially season 2. Why would you ever throw such a device away? Q: is it rechargeable or operates on batteries? Extensive sound work 346 –The word “golem” is removed from this edit. Most people do not know what a golem is, it’s not explained either, and coz of LOTR sounds out of place. It’s enough that Picard has a Legolas character in it (which I have tried to de-Legolas) 347 –Narek rock throwing has one trim 348 - Narek's fireside chat is removed. Pointless, feels very LOTR. References to Ragnarok etc. jar a tad, the back story is largely redundant since we know the peril already and this whole chat robbed earlier scenes of breathing room they could have done with. 349 – Elnor arrival now cuts to a scene of OH on her way. It’s time to ramp up the tension 354 – The following intercut montage arriving back at village with Narek has 4 trims and cuts to another OH moment 357 – The dialogue spoken off camera to OH is altered 359 – Picard take off is shorter to remove SOME cack-handedness. Exterior shots tell us what we need to know 361 – The fight at the beckon is now unified and not split 365 – The scene which followed with Picard flying is altered to remove Picard’s final part of his outburst and that now plays over a differing shot of the Sirena (where it flies more wobbly) and jump cuts to Romulan scan 362 – The battle with the Romulan fleet no longer uses the ship multiplication ploy and associated dialogue, Starfleet makes it IN TIME. Jurati's suggestion is now just declared unworkable by Picard. Her line about the “secret plan “is removed as well as are some of Picard’s outbursts and two Romulan lines of dialogue “sterilization pattern 5”. How many plans and sterilizations have the Romulans executed over the years? 373 – OH’s comments re “engage them” is moved to when the Orchids appear 375 - The Sirena being hit and spinning is cropped to remove the multiple ships from view and then appended to a later sequence when the Sirena appear in Front of OH’s ship 376 - Jurati operates the device DELETED. 377 – OH’s line about the Sirena appearing are also relocated; 378 - Pattern 5 sterilization DELETED: How many sterilizations do these Romulans perform? 379 - Multiple Sirena’s appear removed 380 - Picard’s line about being proud of Elnor's from earlier is moved to here. Now it has impact and meaning. 386 - Two slight trims to Seven and Rios grieving, mainly to make the scene more impactful and balanced with what follows. Less said the better. Tad chatty for my taste. Some shots are repurposed and some dialogue spoken from behind just to shorten 388 – Picard in the Simulation removes the “neurone” comment again, and a few minor trims. “Are you wearing the same clothes” is removed, it goes nowhere. 389 – Data Picard simulation has 3 trims, one to avoid repetition, one to remove a line that felt odd and the Butterfly comment but last word is retained and appended to a different more impactful conclusion. 417 - All shots of Data are corrected to make him look more like in the series per the method described earlier. 431 – Picard awakening now includes a soft additional music cue that may be familiar 446 – The Post awakening discussion is re-ordered to make it a little more somber, some minor trims to make the tone a little more serious (though still joyful) and the removal of two lines for Picard which felt Hammy in delivery. Soong’s “we took care of you man” is also gone. Some re-sequencing of shots and overlays required to maintain visual continuity 456 – All shots of Data at the end are also corrected to make him look more like in the series per the method described earlier. 458 – Trim during the LOVE portion; the remainder of part 2 plays out per the episodes original edit 460- TNG Theme music playout 462 – Fan edit credits added in four places including additional music and additional materials credit NOTE: The last 20 minutes could easily be trimmed by 10 min removing/trimming the Rios & Seven’s chat and other similar scenes that follow but they are vital character moments and frankly the one thing that is perfect (IMO) about Picard is these last 20 min and the crew coming together for season 2. Holding off Rios kiss to Jurati works well as a culmination to their build-up and is not a scene which jars any longer given the removal of the earlier encounter on the Sirena.

Additional Notes:

With over 900 changes, this is the ultimate fix.

Other Sources:

Star Trek: First Contact Star Trek TNG: Best of Both Worlds Star Trek 2009 Star Trek Nemesis Star Trek Voyager CDs Star Trek The Motion Picture 2 CD set Star Trek: First Contact Star Trek TNG: Best of Both Worlds Star Trek 2009 Star Trek Nemesis Star Trek Voyager

Special Thanks: